COMensarations
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Life In the Suburban Jungle
James Lileks needs a GPS system.
James ”the bleat” Lileks has problems trying to get around in one of the newer branches of the Minneapolis-St Paul metroplex. And, from the sounds of it, we’re WAY ahead of him, vis-a-vis trying to find ones way in Pueblo West. Here’s his comment, taken from today’s Bleat
This morning I had to get Gnat to an event in a distant suburb, one of those newer places with an utter absence of parallel or numbered streets. Nothing but serpentine roads, cul-de-sacs, and the occasional main drive hewn from an old path laid down 140 years ago by farmers ekeing their careful way to market. I planned the route yesterday, and since I knew the area a little I figured it would be easy. And indeed it would have been easy if the streets had intersected where I thought they would. They did not. When I reached the intersection and noted that my street wasn’t anywhere in sight, I had that aw-crap moment get when I’m off the map. I hate being off the map. I like to know where I am at all times. This is why this feature rarely originates from, say, Pantagonia.
I feel extactly the same way, every time I contemplate a foray into Pueblo West. It’s as if they deliberately planned to confuse anyone who wasn’t born and RAISED there. I imagine that their pizza delivery people must come from special schools where they are fed the minced brains of deceased native residents so that, like planaria, they can learn the lay of the road-net. Either that or three months later they check into a mental institution.
Everytime I have to go to Pueblo West, if it’s more than a quarter mile off US 50, I take the laptop, connect the GPS and fire up the tracking system.
I hear that Pueblo West is planning to change its name sometime in the future. I suppose this is part of an overall plan to keep the unwary confused....
Lost Motorist: Is this Pueblo West?
Convenience Store Clerk: No.
Lost Motorist: NO?!?!?!?? Where the hell am I?
Convenience Store Clerk: Exactly.....
Where is Rod Serling when we REALLY need him?
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