COMensarations
Friday, October 28, 2005
Dear Abby: It’s Time for a Re-test
Dear Abby gives some bad advice to someone with a genius IQ.
The Dear Abby column in the Chieftain today addresses a concern by a young person with two bachelor degrees who finds people reacting negatively to her “overeducation.” (2nd item on linked page.) The writer (I’m guessing a young woman) wants to know if it’s her or society. Abby tells her it’s “her” and not society. She advises the writer:
...find a psychologist who can help you figure out why, with so much to offer, you are not able to fit in.
I’d like to tell Abby, “It is not all this young woman’s fault and your suggestion is insulting. Why not just tell her to “act dumb?"” There are definitely forces at work in society that sow suspicion of, and cause rejection of, bright people. Many columnists have noted this in the Black community, for example, but it appears in other parts of society. (Black youngsters who are smart and get good grades are ridiculed for “acting white.") A court upheld a Connecticut police department’s decision not to hire someone who scored “too high” on a test. Look at politics: the obviously bright are criticized for “not being in touch with the common man.” Or they’re accused of “over-intellectualizing” the issues. There are very few career fields where putting a Mensa membership on your resume is a good idea.
I’ve been in this young woman’s shoes. I remember having a pleasant conversation with a young man in a bar, and all of a sudden his expression got wary and and he said, “You’re really smart...aren’t you?” I remember interviewing for a promotion at work, and all the director did was carry on about how I had a master’s degree and he didn’t, and then he found some spurious reason not to hire me. A woman I worked with freaked out when I mentioned I was a member of Mensa. She recovered, and apologised for her reaction, saying she had realized it was HER problem, not mine.
Nevertheless, Abby is right in saying it is this young woman’s problem to deal with. My advice to her: a) Join Mensa. You’ll find people just like you who won’t be intimidated and who will be able to help you by telling you about their experiences. b) Find out what your Myers-Briggs personality type is and read up on it. c) Do some reading on communications styles. I tended to use “masculine” phrases at work, which put some people off. You also might need to consider the (not very obvious) fact that some people complain about problems, but don’t really want advice on how to deal with them. They want sympathy, not a solution. If you’re asked about your education in a casual conversation, you can always say, “Oh, I have way more education than I know what to do with.” These are skills you can learn. You don’t have to change your personality as Abby implies.
BTW, if any of you feel a need to respond to Abby, here’s the link.